though as far as I know, he's not a dragon. unfortunately. how awesome would that be?
maybe the world's just a weird place.
or maybe the fact that we're both eccentric billionaires with extraordinary powers running corporations that are large enough to attract a whole lot of the wrong kind of attention has something to do with it. dunno. I'll be honest, I'm not great at determining the parameters of normal.
anyway, even if you're all a bunch of weirdos, try to not die. I hate funerals. what I'm really worried about is that one of you is going to kick it and somebody's going to ask me to give a eulogy. ["Here lies Danny Rand, corporate mascot and professional fist-puncher. He was kind of an idiot, but I liked how he punched a dragon that one time and got magic powers. I hope he left me his vintage iPod in his will."]
Not very awesome, dragons are a handful. You don't want to meet one in person unless you are fireproof, trust me on that.
Probably the best explanation.
Maybe but...no, it must clearly be the world, not us. [He's mostly joking but yeah, he agrees that they don't have the right parameters to tell what's or not normal anymore.]
If it's of any consolation, I'm Buddhist. Our funerals don't have eulogies. [Tony, you silly man.]
High-maintenance is a word for it. [Something tells Danny it's better if he doesn't, yeah.] Cool, maybe. Disastrous? Definitely.
There are rituals, chantings. Some mourners also bring offerings of flowers and fruit, burn incense to sweeten the air and ring gongs or bells. Death is different for Buddhists, we understand that death is not an end, only a transition from one form to another.
'awesome and potentially disastrous' describes 95% of what I do so that's not a dealbreaker for me. how great would it be if he still wore a little pointy wizard hat?
I don't know, that still sounds like kind of a circus. I'm not sure how excited I can get about the transition to the form of fertilizer.
I don't think anybody would take a dragon wizard serious if he wore a hat. But then he will have a excuse to burn people to death when they laughed at him. Or maybe eat them, that's a thing dragons do too.
[This is also why Danny says you don't want to meet one of these big fat lizards in real life, Tony.]
Heh...I'm talking about reincarnation, Tony. I don't think you can transmigrate into fertilizer but I can look it up if you are so concerned.
it's pretty hard not to take a dragon seriously, even if they're wearing a funny hat. or have a really, really ridiculous name. it just makes the story more fun to tell if you manage to not get eaten.
no offense, but I don't believe in any of that stuff, so if I get transmogrified into anything other than a worm buffet after I die it's going to be a bit of a shock.
that's right, you were still off in the magic punching dimension during the makluan invasion, weren't you?
well, there WERE dragons in space. you're welcome.
but yeah, they were part of this whole thing I was involved in for a couple years. dragons were kind of a theme. could be worse. it could have been centipede demons.
and you know, somehow, even though you're so adorably dorky and innocent, I still trust you to throw a real banger party. you're hired.
You truly are a hero, Tony. None of you thought about punching the dragons to see what could happen? [Someone tell Danny that not everything is fixed by punching, please.]
Thanks, I am both offended and flattered. That takes talent.
no, danny. it never occurred to any of us power-armored superheroes to try punching the dragon space aliens who were trying to murder us all. if only we had thought of that, we could have knocked out that giant planet-killing mothership lickety split.
you know what, you're totally right. I'll definitely bring it up at the next team meeting.
'hey, cap, a friend of mine had a thought. I know this is going to sound wild, but I think he might be onto something. what if we tried punching stuff?'
this could be a real game-changer, dude
Edited 2017-10-07 01:47 (UTC)
aww thank you so much. This whole conversation is a blast
Ey, for Captain America it would be an improvement from 'lets throw a really hard, flat, piece of metal at our enemies'. Which is also very effective but..it is nto punching things.
yeah I was skeptical about the my-superpower-is-a-patriotic-dinner-plate thing too, but I guess I can't knock what works.
to be fair, he does also punch things. punching nazis is, like, his signature move. there's comics and trading cards for it and everything. to this date I have bribed fifteen SHIELD agents to ask him to autograph their vintage nazi-punching merch. he hates it. I still don't think he's caught on.
of course he does. he's too nice to let people down. especially his "fans."
like I don't think he's actually capable of being mean. even when he's pissed off he makes it sound like he really believes in you and he's just disappointed that you let him down. it's unreal. [This is, obviously, why Tony thinks it's so hilarious to screw with him.]
I make more money off those action figure royalties than I do off of half my inventions. you want me to get you one of the rare ones? I like the one that transforms into a car for no reason. the car has missile launchers.
Ah..then no, let's not get to that. Is your father really that bad?
Good on you if you already do it. Now, you need to convince them to make a red and gold one. Those are very nice colors too, just saying. [For no reason at all.]
[If Tony were more poetically inclined, he might say something like: the anger of great men is like an iceberg. Cold, implacable, and mostly hidden beneath the surface. And you usually don't realize how totally screwed you are until you've already hit it.]
no, dad's great. don't worry about it. I don't think there's anything you could do that would piss him off. he likes what you're doing with rand, actually.
[Subtext: if you did manage to piss him off, you would be one hundred percent fucked, son. Howard Stark is not a man to be trifled with.]
red and gold are the best colors. you're not going to steal that for your superhero costume, are you? we can't show up to supervillain fights in the same outfit, that's so embarrassing. [That's a big fat lie – Tony would be delighted by accidental costume coordination.]
[That sounds like something Lei Kung would say too...right before he kicked someone's ass.]
Good. [Danny is relieved at the confirmation. After the issues with Harold and Ward, he wants to make sure his friends really are okay] Ah, tell him thanks from me? I want the company to be as helpful for the people of this city, and the world, as it could be.
[He will try not to piss him off.]
I'm more fond of green and gold, those are my favorite.
[Maybe one day Danny would do it to surprise Tony.]
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...
We knows really weird people, Tony. How did our lives become this?
No worries, we like to focus on more human-related problems. It's sweet that you worry so much.
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maybe the world's just a weird place.
or maybe the fact that we're both eccentric billionaires with extraordinary powers running corporations that are large enough to attract a whole lot of the wrong kind of attention has something to do with it. dunno. I'll be honest, I'm not great at determining the parameters of normal.
anyway, even if you're all a bunch of weirdos, try to not die. I hate funerals. what I'm really worried about is that one of you is going to kick it and somebody's going to ask me to give a eulogy. ["Here lies Danny Rand, corporate mascot and professional fist-puncher. He was kind of an idiot, but I liked how he punched a dragon that one time and got magic powers. I hope he left me his vintage iPod in his will."]
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Probably the best explanation.
Maybe but...no, it must clearly be the world, not us. [He's mostly joking but yeah, he agrees that they don't have the right parameters to tell what's or not normal anymore.]
If it's of any consolation, I'm Buddhist. Our funerals don't have eulogies. [Tony, you silly man.]
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what do buddhists do at funerals instead? is it drinking? that would work for me. please don't tell me it's meditating.
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There are rituals, chantings. Some mourners also bring offerings of flowers and fruit, burn incense to sweeten the air and ring gongs or bells. Death is different for Buddhists, we understand that death is not an end, only a transition from one form to another.
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I don't know, that still sounds like kind of a circus. I'm not sure how excited I can get about the transition to the form of fertilizer.
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[This is also why Danny says you don't want to meet one of these big fat lizards in real life, Tony.]
Heh...I'm talking about reincarnation, Tony. I don't think you can transmigrate into fertilizer but I can look it up if you are so concerned.
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no offense, but I don't believe in any of that stuff, so if I get transmogrified into anything other than a worm buffet after I die it's going to be a bit of a shock.
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None taken, different people, different belief. We could just party for your funeral, maybe have some really loud and obnoxious fireworks.
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that was evil space dragons though, I don't know if they count.
the other one who tried to eat me wasn't very chatty, but he'd been asleep for about eight hundred years, so maybe he just wasn't a morning guy.
and that sounds perfect, actually. I'm putting you in charge of my funeral.
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I'm started to get worried that you had met so many dragons in your life.
I promise not to disappoint. You can come back and haunt m as a ghost if you're not satisfied with the quality of your own funeral.
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well, there WERE dragons in space. you're welcome.
but yeah, they were part of this whole thing I was involved in for a couple years. dragons were kind of a theme. could be worse. it could have been centipede demons.
and you know, somehow, even though you're so adorably dorky and innocent, I still trust you to throw a real banger party. you're hired.
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You truly are a hero, Tony. None of you thought about punching the dragons to see what could happen? [Someone tell Danny that not everything is fixed by punching, please.]
Thanks, I am both offended and flattered. That takes talent.
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I love your Tony so much
A shame.
:D I love your danny and I love these two idiots together
'hey, cap, a friend of mine had a thought. I know this is going to sound wild, but I think he might be onto something. what if we tried punching stuff?'
this could be a real game-changer, dude
aww thank you so much. This whole conversation is a blast
You are very welcome.
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to be fair, he does also punch things. punching nazis is, like, his signature move. there's comics and trading cards for it and everything. to this date I have bribed fifteen SHIELD agents to ask him to autograph their vintage nazi-punching merch. he hates it. I still don't think he's caught on.
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Nazis make a good punching bag, they shouldn't exist. He hates it...but he still sign the merch for them, doesn't he?
I saw that they had made action figures of you too, I need to get me one.
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like I don't think he's actually capable of being mean. even when he's pissed off he makes it sound like he really believes in you and he's just disappointed that you let him down. it's unreal. [This is, obviously, why Tony thinks it's so hilarious to screw with him.]
I make more money off those action figure royalties than I do off of half my inventions. you want me to get you one of the rare ones? I like the one that transforms into a car for no reason. the car has missile launchers.
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Oh. That's worse, playing the disappointment card. [Danny has been in the receiving end of that, it's so not fun.] I'd rather take anger.
Thanks but I don't need it. You should sign it, auction it, then send the money to charity. People go crazy over limited items.
What, really? A car? Is it red? It should be red.
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I already do that all the time. don't want to flood the market. and of course it's red, the armor's red. everybody loves red.
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Ah..then no, let's not get to that. Is your father really that bad?
Good on you if you already do it. Now, you need to convince them to make a red and gold one. Those are very nice colors too, just saying. [For no reason at all.]
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no, dad's great. don't worry about it. I don't think there's anything you could do that would piss him off. he likes what you're doing with rand, actually.
[Subtext: if you did manage to piss him off, you would be one hundred percent fucked, son. Howard Stark is not a man to be trifled with.]
red and gold are the best colors. you're not going to steal that for your superhero costume, are you? we can't show up to supervillain fights in the same outfit, that's so embarrassing. [That's a big fat lie – Tony would be delighted by accidental costume coordination.]
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Good. [Danny is relieved at the confirmation. After the issues with Harold and Ward, he wants to make sure his friends really are okay] Ah, tell him thanks from me? I want the company to be as helpful for the people of this city, and the world, as it could be.
[He will try not to piss him off.]
I'm more fond of green and gold, those are my favorite.
[Maybe one day Danny would do it to surprise Tony.]
IMAA howard is the only version who isn't a total asshole. PROTECT GOOD DAD HOWARD
Woah man. A good dad. That's like seeing an unicorn. Superrare
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