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[everybodywas]

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[everybodywas]

Then we should play one day. [Danny, you poor, naive child...]

My mom was one of my teachers and I did get to see my dad often. But ey, hanging out with scientist sounds fun too. Sorry to hear that about your friend. Davos and i also had a fall out. It was my fault, though.

[starksolutions]

oh don't worry, I'm planning on it.

yeah. remember how I said I'm friends with way too many supervillains?

whitney was my fault too. [Not entirely true, but that doesn't stop him from blaming himself for it.] who's davos?

[everybodywas]

Just tell me when and where.

Sometimes the line between supervillains and friends is so narrow...But still, sorry you had to deal with all that with her. I know it isn't easy.

Davos is like my brother. We grew up and trained together in K'un Lun, he was the son of my Master Lei-Kung the thunderer. I became the Iron Fist instead of him and because he believed the Iron Fist was his birthright, he hates me from taking that power away. The fact that I left K'un Lun when the gates opened didn't help matters. We also have very different points of view about killing and compassion.

that's racist tony

[starksolutions]

okay what is in the water over there that makes everyone so obsessed with 'birthrights' and legendary hereditary superpowers? does he talk about destiny a lot too? is this just a thing in asia or are they sending all their weirdos over here to get rid of them?

Pfff...Tony, no

[everybodywas]

As far as I know, Europe and its old kings also brought up 'birthrights' a lot. It's a matter of culture, I suppose, legends and traditions.

...they're not weirdos. [Don't go that far in your mocking, Tony, he doesn't appreciate it.]

[starksolutions]

maybe, but if there are loads of european supers causing drama about ancient mystical powers, they're mostly keeping it on their side of the pond.

okay, wait, I do know one family that has a whole magic sword shtick. but they're also total weirdos, so I think that just proves my point. [...Whatever point that is.]

I'm just saying. ancient mystical powers. people get way too intense about it. if I'm ever fighting anyone and they start talking about their ancestors again, I'm going home.

[Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. (The t-shirt says "I almost died in a plane crash and all I got was a shitty heart implant and lifelong trauma.")]

[everybodywas]

Magic sword shtick...are you talking about the Arthurian legend? I loved those fantasy stories as a kid.

[And then he had to fight a dragon without wearing armor or handling a magic cool sword and those stopped being entertaining.]

With our luck, it's hard to avoid that kind of people. They're kinda...just happen. ALL THE TIME.

[starksolutions]

not that exact sword, but that's the right idea. pretty sure merlin was involved, there's a castle and a horse, it's a whole thing.

tell you what, since you're such a big fan, you can take them. I'll send all my ninjas and mystical magic villains your way, and you can trade me anybody running 21st century tech. like a villain exchange program.

[everybodywas]

Merlin is real and still alive? How old if he?

Heh. Sounds like a far trade to me. And if we have to fight aliens, we could leave those to Thor?

[starksolutions]

I honestly have no idea. the legend says merlin made it, I can't tell you if it's legit or not. if the dude's real he COULD still be around for all I know. it wouldn't be the weirdest thing I've seen.

problem is thor's a huge flake. never know when he's going to show up. don't worry, I've got a good track record with aliens. you guys just stay clear - no more glass cannons on the alien invasion team. it stresses me out enough having nat and clint on the roster.

[everybodywas]

Well, he wouldn't the first immortal we ever encounter if we find him.

...

We knows really weird people, Tony. How did our lives become this?

No worries, we like to focus on more human-related problems. It's sweet that you worry so much.

[starksolutions]

though as far as I know, he's not a dragon. unfortunately. how awesome would that be?

maybe the world's just a weird place.

or maybe the fact that we're both eccentric billionaires with extraordinary powers running corporations that are large enough to attract a whole lot of the wrong kind of attention has something to do with it. dunno. I'll be honest, I'm not great at determining the parameters of normal.

anyway, even if you're all a bunch of weirdos, try to not die. I hate funerals. what I'm really worried about is that one of you is going to kick it and somebody's going to ask me to give a eulogy. ["Here lies Danny Rand, corporate mascot and professional fist-puncher. He was kind of an idiot, but I liked how he punched a dragon that one time and got magic powers. I hope he left me his vintage iPod in his will."]

[everybodywas]

Not very awesome, dragons are a handful. You don't want to meet one in person unless you are fireproof, trust me on that.

Probably the best explanation.

Maybe but...no, it must clearly be the world, not us. [He's mostly joking but yeah, he agrees that they don't have the right parameters to tell what's or not normal anymore.]

If it's of any consolation, I'm Buddhist. Our funerals don't have eulogies. [Tony, you silly man.]

[starksolutions]

tell me about it. so high-maintenance too. [...Just don't ask.] but come on. an immortal dragon wizard would be a LITTLE bit cool.

what do buddhists do at funerals instead? is it drinking? that would work for me. please don't tell me it's meditating.

[everybodywas]

High-maintenance is a word for it. [Something tells Danny it's better if he doesn't, yeah.] Cool, maybe. Disastrous? Definitely.

There are rituals, chantings. Some mourners also bring offerings of flowers and fruit, burn incense to sweeten the air and ring gongs or bells. Death is different for Buddhists, we understand that death is not an end, only a transition from one form to another.

[starksolutions]

'awesome and potentially disastrous' describes 95% of what I do so that's not a dealbreaker for me. how great would it be if he still wore a little pointy wizard hat?

I don't know, that still sounds like kind of a circus. I'm not sure how excited I can get about the transition to the form of fertilizer.

[everybodywas]

I don't think anybody would take a dragon wizard serious if he wore a hat. But then he will have a excuse to burn people to death when they laughed at him. Or maybe eat them, that's a thing dragons do too.

[This is also why Danny says you don't want to meet one of these big fat lizards in real life, Tony.]

Heh...I'm talking about reincarnation, Tony. I don't think you can transmigrate into fertilizer but I can look it up if you are so concerned.

[starksolutions]

it's pretty hard not to take a dragon seriously, even if they're wearing a funny hat. or have a really, really ridiculous name. it just makes the story more fun to tell if you manage to not get eaten.

no offense, but I don't believe in any of that stuff, so if I get transmogrified into anything other than a worm buffet after I die it's going to be a bit of a shock.

[everybodywas]

Yes, that's true. have I mentioned that dragons speak? At least Shao Lao did, mostly to gloat or mess with people's head.

None taken, different people, different belief. We could just party for your funeral, maybe have some really loud and obnoxious fireworks.

[starksolutions]

and sometimes they won't shut up.

that was evil space dragons though, I don't know if they count.

the other one who tried to eat me wasn't very chatty, but he'd been asleep for about eight hundred years, so maybe he just wasn't a morning guy.

and that sounds perfect, actually. I'm putting you in charge of my funeral.

[everybodywas]

There are dragons in space too? [If Tony could see Danny's face. It's basically a 'Fuck, no'.] I'm sticking to earth, thank you very much.

I'm started to get worried that you had met so many dragons in your life.

I promise not to disappoint. You can come back and haunt m as a ghost if you're not satisfied with the quality of your own funeral.

[starksolutions]

that's right, you were still off in the magic punching dimension during the makluan invasion, weren't you?

well, there WERE dragons in space. you're welcome.

but yeah, they were part of this whole thing I was involved in for a couple years. dragons were kind of a theme. could be worse. it could have been centipede demons.

and you know, somehow, even though you're so adorably dorky and innocent, I still trust you to throw a real banger party. you're hired.

[everybodywas]

Apparently and for once, I am glad for it.

You truly are a hero, Tony. None of you thought about punching the dragons to see what could happen? [Someone tell Danny that not everything is fixed by punching, please.]

Thanks, I am both offended and flattered. That takes talent.

[starksolutions]

no, danny. it never occurred to any of us power-armored superheroes to try punching the dragon space aliens who were trying to murder us all. if only we had thought of that, we could have knocked out that giant planet-killing mothership lickety split.

I love your Tony so much

[everybodywas]

See, that's the problem with not thinking outside the box. You don't come up with amazing space-Smaug punching strategies.

A shame.