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[everybodywas]

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[everybodywas]

What do they do, exactly?....I'm going to regret asking, aren't I?

I tried, more than once at that. He told me to go screw myself, which I don't think is physically possible. But it was really early and he didn't even had his first cup of coffee at the time.

[starksolutions]

didn't you take a view of chastity in the ninja monk dimension? I don't know, your delicate innocence may not be able to handle it. should I ask colleen for permission before polluting the purity of your soul?

see, you're too nice about it. he needs friends like mine to make him relax whether he wants to or not.

[everybodywas]

I did but that doesn't mean I'm as naive as you think I am. [Lies, he doesn't know shit, Tony.] I'm not delicate and Colleen would probably laugh at the question.

He could probably use more friends in general but are you sure you want to subject yourself to Ward, though? Our relationship always had been like that, I got used to the snark, kinda like stockholm syndrome.

[starksolutions]

uh huh, sure you aren't.

I think I'll let colleen be the judge. maybe I'll take her out for drinks and ask her for all the juicy details. like a girls' night out. she'd have fun with that, don't you think? she seems cool.

I should sic pepper on ward. if she can't make him loosen up, he's a lost cause.

[everybodywas]

I'm not sure what I should worry more about, you asking my girlfriend out for drinks or you two somehow joining forces to embarrass me.

Now that's a meeting I'd like to attend.

[starksolutions]

I don't need your ninja girlfriend, I've already got my own ninja boyfriend. on the other hand I definitely do need embarrassing gossip about you, so, up to you which to be more worried about.

next time we all have some painful corporate snoozefest to attend, I'll send her his way. that'll keep things entertaining.

[everybodywas]

I don't think I've to talked your ninja boyfriend. If you want to see Colleen and get embarrassing information, we could all meet, like a double date.

[Double dates, because Danny is somehow still living in 1990.]

Amazing. I'd love to have that recorded for posterity.

[starksolutions]

that's because he hates everyone and spends most of his time brooding melodramatically in remote places.

he might like you guys, though. he has a soft spot for heroic rich morons and other people who are too intense about martial arts.

don't worry, Pepper will probably livetweet the whole thing. or send me a six hundred text play-by-play. I can give her your number too, if you don't mind never seeing the bottom of your unreads ever again.

[everybodywas]

Ninja who enjoys brooding melodramatically in remote places? Why didn't you tell me sooner that you were dating Daredevil?

Heh. Then we should get to know each other for sure. And martial arts are great, you'll understand once I teach you.

I'd like that, she's an amazing and very efficient woman.

[starksolutions]

I'm really sure he would be offended by that comparison.

you know, ever since I heard of your team the number of ninjas in my life has increased by at least 400%, and I don't know how I feel about that. you guys need hobbies that are not beating up other people. like skydiving. or crochet.

efficient maybe, but I think a better description would be 'terrifyingly effective'

[everybodywas]

Now, now...Daredevil is not so bad. just a very private person.

[Which is why Danny is using the nickname and not Matt's real name]

Ninjas just keep on happening, it's not as if we want to fight them. Okay, not much. I do yoga, does that count?

Even better. [Danny is grinning. Give him people who take no shit, he loves those.]

[starksolutions]

yeah, sure

Gene just has a very

uh

complicated relationship with the whole hero/vigilante scene

if you want to get on his good side compare him to some ancient chinese military genius or intellectual luminary or something instead. he'll be really smug about that. just ignore me if I fall asleep while you two are yammering about chinese history and philosophy for hours.

and no yoga does not count. yoga is just a warm up before you beat up people. it's not a hobby unless you're a vegan soccer mom with a subaru.

p.s. I gave pepper your number. don't say I didn't warn you.

[everybodywas]

Please don’t tell me you are dating a supervillain. Are you dating a supervillain, Tony? Is it that? I’m having flashbacks of Elektra.

Ey, it’s not our fault if you can’t appreciate the good things in life, like sharing stories about Kung fu masters.

Yoga is a physical, mental and spiritual practice and I'm sure you are just mad that you never managed to do the seated head to knee position.

Thanks. We will probably end talking about you a lot, I'm not the one who will regret this decision.

[starksolutions]

[Shit. He's been made!] if I was, do you really think I'd tell you? anyway you could say the same thing about bruce [former fugitive] and nat and clint [former agents of negotiable loyalty] and none of them are supervillains. [Methinks the billionaire doth protest too much.]

that's what you call 'the good things in life'? that's just sad. you need to sit head knee your way into learning how to have some real fun.

if there's anything pepper knows about me that she hasn't gossiped about by now I'd be shocked. you're gonna have to try harder than that to get dirt on me.

[everybodywas]

[No way...He sees you there getting defensive, bro. There's no need.] Colleen was part of the Hand at first. Matt dated the Black Sky. Do you think I'm going to judge? But I'm curious about how this whole thing started.

I didn't exactly had free time in K'un Lun or talked about a lot of thing that weren't related to training in some way or the other. What do you consider 'real fun'? And more important, should I be worried?

...okay that's a good point.

[starksolutions]

that's classified

[He's joking, probably?]

I guess the whole 'adopt a supervillain' thing is more common than I thought. I thought it was just me. like half my contacts list is people who were bad guys at some point.

worried? why would you be worried? you're the guy who wants to fly the armor around manhattan. and here I was just gonna suggest board game night and movies. sheesh. [No you weren't, Tony.]

[everybodywas]

Of course it is...[Danny isn't even going to argue. If Tony ever feels like sharing, he will listen. For now he won't pry.]

You would be surprised. It's not a bad thing to give people second or even third opportunities if they are really determined to be better person and stop hurting innocents.

Because you are Tony Stark, that's why. Do you even own a board game? [You are fooling absolutely no one.]

[starksolutions]

well, think about it - people with powers don't have the best track record for staying dead or imprisoned. makes more sense to just have them on your side. [That, and you sleep better at night.]

sure. haven't you heard? board games are hip now.

you should see my dad play monopoly. it's exactly as brutal as it sounds.

[everybodywas]

Don't remind me. I had enough problems with revived villains. Maybe that's a better strategy: If you can't defeat them, bed them?

I don't even understand what 'being hip' is mean to imply.

Doesn't sound too brutal to me, actually. Have you played ludo? That's how you end seeing people really get competitive.

[starksolutions]

using 'bed' as a verb is the most old fashioned thing I have ever heard anyone say in my entire life. and hip as in it's cool, board games are back in style. hip is definitely slang that existed when you were a kid. you just went missing for ten years, you're not a time traveller from the past.

monopoly with my dad isn't competitive, it's a slaughter. it's over in half an hour. [There is no one alive who can beat Howard Stark at Monopoly.] isn't ludo just Sorry without the fun dice popper? [He's never heard of it. He googled it.] strategy games are where it's at. that and inappropriate card games.

[everybodywas]

You still understood what I was trying to say. [A huff. Do you enjoy making him blush, Tony?Keep it up, you are doing a good job.] Well, sorry if I forgot what the cool kids where saying when I was eleven years old, it happens.

Slaughter, hm? Try playing monopoly with Ward. The game lasts 15 minutes and it ends when he throws the board to the ground and kicks you in the shin. [Danny has very fond childhood memories of Ward, can you tell?] And yes, Ludo is kind of like that. How can a card game be inappropriate? It's just cards.

so like was someone on the Iron Fist writing team just secretly trying to reboot Armored Adventures

[starksolutions]

[He absolutely does.] I can already tell that introducing you to cards against humanity is going to be one of the greatest experiences of my life.

it's okay, I was a dweeb too. too bad we never hung out when we were kids. we would have been so uncool it would have almost been cool. the original Geek Squad.

after what a nutjob his dad turned out to be, I guess I'm not surprised ward was a little jerk. sounds a lot like what whitney went through. though she never kicked me in the shins.

I also just realized 'complicated relationship with your dad's evil business partner's maladjusted kid' is something else we have in common, and it's starting to get a little weird.

That or writers in general have some intense feelings about monopoly

[everybodywas]

[Wonderful.]I've never heard of that one before. Is it like poker?

I was home-schooled, I didn't get to see too many people. But yes, that could have been fun. [He's not even joking, he would have liked more non-asshole friends. or at least jerks that weren't on Ward's level.]

He's been doing much better lately. Harold not being around and making his life hell has been really good for his mental health. Who's whitney?

Maybe that's also another of the rich-kids-club things. They say history repeats itself too.

[starksolutions]

sure. it's like poker. [It is NOT like poker.]

my dad's idea of homeschooling was to let me do basically whatever I wanted in stark tower. [Given that "whatever he wanted" was to start making scientific breakthroughs before he hit double digits, it's hard to find fault with Howard's decision.] so I saw lots of scientists, but not a lot of kids my age. except rhodey, and whitney. she's obadiah stane's daughter. enough daddy issues to write a textbook about. it didn't turn out too well for her.

[everybodywas]

Then we should play one day. [Danny, you poor, naive child...]

My mom was one of my teachers and I did get to see my dad often. But ey, hanging out with scientist sounds fun too. Sorry to hear that about your friend. Davos and i also had a fall out. It was my fault, though.