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[everybodywas]

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[everybodywas]

Are you sure you and Jessica aren't long lost siblings? Separated at birth, I'd believe it.

I would want to put people in danger, I'm more level headed than that. [You offend him, mister.] Besides, i wasn't about to try to reach the moon at the first opportunity while wearing your suit. That would be stupid and risky.

Dare I ask why they chose THAT name from all things?

[starksolutions]

unless she's secretly an engineering genius, pretty sure.

the moon's a pretty safe trip, once you're past all the satellites. just really, really long and boring.

anyway, still not happening. remember how I said legal will kill me? and probably whoever's running whatever government agency I'm supposed to be listening to this week, too. [Look, if they want him to pay attention to that, they've got to stop making up new agencies and changing their minds on whether SHIELD is still legit or not.] what's wrong with flying on the test site? that's still cool. this is not an offer a lot of people get, you know. you're lucky you're cute.

he fired lasers out of a horn on his head. I don't know if the name or the helmet came first. I'm not sure which is worse.

[everybodywas]

She's a detective and very smart. You can't never know for sure.

Pass. Knowing my luck I'd hit one by accident. Let's keep the test fly to this planet, for both of our sake. Imagine the paperwork.

[Danny already stopped trying to keep up with that as well.]

And people makes fun of my fist.

[starksolutions]

already imagining it, and it's making me nauseous. which is why we're going to the test site out in bumfuck nowhere new jersey. the only thing out there you could crash into is the jersey devil.

how did I end up agreeing to this? you owe me a favor, fisto roboto.

[everybodywas]

Works for me. I don't want to put anybody in danger or cause damage if it can be avoided, no matter what you might think of me.

Because you think that seeing me faceplants to the floor while wearing your armor will be hilarious?

[starksolutions]

I know you don't. you're a nice guy, danny. probably way too nice to be a billionaire.

I mean, except for how you took a ninja blood oath to dragonpunch bad guys to death. that's pretty hardcore.

and yes. that's exactly why. I'm planning on filming the whole thing.

[everybodywas]

Billionaire can be nice. My dad was nice. You're nice too, if only with a sarcastic sense of humor.

Someone had to do it. Can't let the evil ninjas and other bad guys win.

...

No.

[starksolutions]

everyone else thinks I'm a jackass. are you sure you're texting the right billionaire?

I mean, I agree. big fan of your whole kung fu glowstick punching deal. plus it's nice to have someone else dealing with the ninjas for a change.

and yes. I already promised jessica the footage.

[everybodywas]

Yes, positive. Maybe I just see things they don't.

Thanks, I think.

The last time a video with me in it ended in youtube it was used to blackmail my company. So, please, don't.

[starksolutions]

aw, danny, that's so sweet. it totally sounded like a come-on, and I'm taken, but, sweet.

and so was that video. even my dad thought you guys should have run with it, that was incredible pr. come on, it'll be fun. what's the worst that can happen? and, more importantly: is it worse than disappointing jessica jones?

[everybodywas]

Cute. I'm taking too and my really strong, really amazing with a katana, girlfriend wouldn't appreciate it if I ride off into the sunset with another billionaire.

Ward chewed me out for it even if I still it was the right thing to do. I'm just trying not to give the man a heart attack. Between him and Jessica...I'm not sure who's worst.

[starksolutions]

and everyone I've ever dated would probably disintegrate you, and then me. I guess I have a type.

definitely jessica. but you're right, meachum would probably have a heart attack. he's kind of high-strung, isn't he?

[everybodywas]

Tough love, they call it. Personally, I love a partner who can kick my asks, don't ask me why. [He's grown up to be a bit of a masochist, it seems.]

High-strung doesn't cover it. If Jessica has whiskey in her veins, he has coffee. But these last years has been really difficult for him, he's now learning to de-stress. It's a slow process.

[starksolutions]

not to get too freudian here but... yeah. I guess what they say about rich guys is true.

why don't you teach him meditation or tai chi or, you know, some mystical monk chill ritual?

[everybodywas]

What do they do, exactly?....I'm going to regret asking, aren't I?

I tried, more than once at that. He told me to go screw myself, which I don't think is physically possible. But it was really early and he didn't even had his first cup of coffee at the time.

[starksolutions]

didn't you take a view of chastity in the ninja monk dimension? I don't know, your delicate innocence may not be able to handle it. should I ask colleen for permission before polluting the purity of your soul?

see, you're too nice about it. he needs friends like mine to make him relax whether he wants to or not.

[everybodywas]

I did but that doesn't mean I'm as naive as you think I am. [Lies, he doesn't know shit, Tony.] I'm not delicate and Colleen would probably laugh at the question.

He could probably use more friends in general but are you sure you want to subject yourself to Ward, though? Our relationship always had been like that, I got used to the snark, kinda like stockholm syndrome.

[starksolutions]

uh huh, sure you aren't.

I think I'll let colleen be the judge. maybe I'll take her out for drinks and ask her for all the juicy details. like a girls' night out. she'd have fun with that, don't you think? she seems cool.

I should sic pepper on ward. if she can't make him loosen up, he's a lost cause.

[everybodywas]

I'm not sure what I should worry more about, you asking my girlfriend out for drinks or you two somehow joining forces to embarrass me.

Now that's a meeting I'd like to attend.

[starksolutions]

I don't need your ninja girlfriend, I've already got my own ninja boyfriend. on the other hand I definitely do need embarrassing gossip about you, so, up to you which to be more worried about.

next time we all have some painful corporate snoozefest to attend, I'll send her his way. that'll keep things entertaining.

[everybodywas]

I don't think I've to talked your ninja boyfriend. If you want to see Colleen and get embarrassing information, we could all meet, like a double date.

[Double dates, because Danny is somehow still living in 1990.]

Amazing. I'd love to have that recorded for posterity.

[starksolutions]

that's because he hates everyone and spends most of his time brooding melodramatically in remote places.

he might like you guys, though. he has a soft spot for heroic rich morons and other people who are too intense about martial arts.

don't worry, Pepper will probably livetweet the whole thing. or send me a six hundred text play-by-play. I can give her your number too, if you don't mind never seeing the bottom of your unreads ever again.

[everybodywas]

Ninja who enjoys brooding melodramatically in remote places? Why didn't you tell me sooner that you were dating Daredevil?

Heh. Then we should get to know each other for sure. And martial arts are great, you'll understand once I teach you.

I'd like that, she's an amazing and very efficient woman.

[starksolutions]

I'm really sure he would be offended by that comparison.

you know, ever since I heard of your team the number of ninjas in my life has increased by at least 400%, and I don't know how I feel about that. you guys need hobbies that are not beating up other people. like skydiving. or crochet.

efficient maybe, but I think a better description would be 'terrifyingly effective'

[everybodywas]

Now, now...Daredevil is not so bad. just a very private person.

[Which is why Danny is using the nickname and not Matt's real name]

Ninjas just keep on happening, it's not as if we want to fight them. Okay, not much. I do yoga, does that count?

Even better. [Danny is grinning. Give him people who take no shit, he loves those.]