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[everybodywas]

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[starksolutions]

my usual wushu guy told me the other day that he would "rather train a very stupid rhinoceros" and I thought that was really poetic.

don't worry about it, I've got my own thing. I'm not dead yet so I'd say it's working pretty well.

[everybodywas]

I like a good challenge and you can't be worst than a dragon.

[U sure, Danny?]

But yes, your thing is working well so far. Must be fun to fly.

[starksolutions]

I'd let you borrow the armor to try it out yourself, but I have a rule about mixing my tech with magic bullshit, and your glowing fist of doom definitely counts as magic bullshit.

but if you really want to come try and beat some ninja skills into me I guess I can make room in my schedule for that.

actually -- let's definitely do that. then I
can say I've literally physically fought the heads of all of my major corporate competitors. billionaire fight club! I love it.

[everybodywas]

It's just magic, no bullshit involved. Don't be disrespectful. [This is why people says you're too serious for your own good, Danny.] But I can promise not to use the iron Fist anywhere near your armor. Is it really safe for everyone to borrow and use?

Good, we will then. Might do you some good, it wll help you to de-stress.

You're a really weird man, Tony Stark. [Not a bad thing, though, in Danny's opinion.] What other corporate competitor have you fought?

[starksolutions]

respectfully, all magic is bullshit. [Tony's not a fan. He prefers to leave the magic crap to other people.]

happy once stole the armor and took it for a joyride. if it's happy-proof, I think it can handle danny rand. you can try one of the old models. on one of our test sites. under supervision. [Inside the armor is perfectly safe. It's what's outside it that he's worried about. They don't sell liability insurance for city-block-leveling power armor.]

justin hammer as titanium man. the scientist supreme and the controller back when AIM was pretending to be legit and they weren't calling themselves stupid names like the scientist supreme and the controller. stane when he locked me out of SI and thought iron monger was a good idea.

and... okay, not all of them. I'm missing crosstech and oscorp, but honestly, it's only a matter of time. they're constantly sticking their fingers in the evil pie.

[everybodywas]

You and I have very different definitions of the word 'respectfully'. I think someone's jealous.

Now that's a mental image I never thought I would get. You make it sound as if the armor and everything around it will immediately explode upon getting in contact with me. I'm not that destructive.

Those are the stupidest nicknames I've ever heard and I fought an organization called 'The Hand'.

Justin Hammer's weapons are almost killed Luke, I'm glad you kicked his ass.

[starksolutions]

I was never very good at being respectful. it's part of my charm.

and maybe not, but my entire legal department will come up to my office and murder me if I let Daniel Rand of Rand Enterprises zoom around manhattan in the iron man armor just for funsies. flying is hard. trust me. you don't want headbutt the chrysler building at mach 2. keep it on the test track. this is why we have new jersey.

those aren't even the worst ones. one of the thugs I used to run into a lot went by unicorn. it was exactly as embarrassing as it sounds.

[everybodywas]

Are you sure you and Jessica aren't long lost siblings? Separated at birth, I'd believe it.

I would want to put people in danger, I'm more level headed than that. [You offend him, mister.] Besides, i wasn't about to try to reach the moon at the first opportunity while wearing your suit. That would be stupid and risky.

Dare I ask why they chose THAT name from all things?

[starksolutions]

unless she's secretly an engineering genius, pretty sure.

the moon's a pretty safe trip, once you're past all the satellites. just really, really long and boring.

anyway, still not happening. remember how I said legal will kill me? and probably whoever's running whatever government agency I'm supposed to be listening to this week, too. [Look, if they want him to pay attention to that, they've got to stop making up new agencies and changing their minds on whether SHIELD is still legit or not.] what's wrong with flying on the test site? that's still cool. this is not an offer a lot of people get, you know. you're lucky you're cute.

he fired lasers out of a horn on his head. I don't know if the name or the helmet came first. I'm not sure which is worse.

[everybodywas]

She's a detective and very smart. You can't never know for sure.

Pass. Knowing my luck I'd hit one by accident. Let's keep the test fly to this planet, for both of our sake. Imagine the paperwork.

[Danny already stopped trying to keep up with that as well.]

And people makes fun of my fist.

[starksolutions]

already imagining it, and it's making me nauseous. which is why we're going to the test site out in bumfuck nowhere new jersey. the only thing out there you could crash into is the jersey devil.

how did I end up agreeing to this? you owe me a favor, fisto roboto.

[everybodywas]

Works for me. I don't want to put anybody in danger or cause damage if it can be avoided, no matter what you might think of me.

Because you think that seeing me faceplants to the floor while wearing your armor will be hilarious?

[starksolutions]

I know you don't. you're a nice guy, danny. probably way too nice to be a billionaire.

I mean, except for how you took a ninja blood oath to dragonpunch bad guys to death. that's pretty hardcore.

and yes. that's exactly why. I'm planning on filming the whole thing.

[everybodywas]

Billionaire can be nice. My dad was nice. You're nice too, if only with a sarcastic sense of humor.

Someone had to do it. Can't let the evil ninjas and other bad guys win.

...

No.

[starksolutions]

everyone else thinks I'm a jackass. are you sure you're texting the right billionaire?

I mean, I agree. big fan of your whole kung fu glowstick punching deal. plus it's nice to have someone else dealing with the ninjas for a change.

and yes. I already promised jessica the footage.

[everybodywas]

Yes, positive. Maybe I just see things they don't.

Thanks, I think.

The last time a video with me in it ended in youtube it was used to blackmail my company. So, please, don't.

[starksolutions]

aw, danny, that's so sweet. it totally sounded like a come-on, and I'm taken, but, sweet.

and so was that video. even my dad thought you guys should have run with it, that was incredible pr. come on, it'll be fun. what's the worst that can happen? and, more importantly: is it worse than disappointing jessica jones?

[everybodywas]

Cute. I'm taking too and my really strong, really amazing with a katana, girlfriend wouldn't appreciate it if I ride off into the sunset with another billionaire.

Ward chewed me out for it even if I still it was the right thing to do. I'm just trying not to give the man a heart attack. Between him and Jessica...I'm not sure who's worst.

[starksolutions]

and everyone I've ever dated would probably disintegrate you, and then me. I guess I have a type.

definitely jessica. but you're right, meachum would probably have a heart attack. he's kind of high-strung, isn't he?

[everybodywas]

Tough love, they call it. Personally, I love a partner who can kick my asks, don't ask me why. [He's grown up to be a bit of a masochist, it seems.]

High-strung doesn't cover it. If Jessica has whiskey in her veins, he has coffee. But these last years has been really difficult for him, he's now learning to de-stress. It's a slow process.

[starksolutions]

not to get too freudian here but... yeah. I guess what they say about rich guys is true.

why don't you teach him meditation or tai chi or, you know, some mystical monk chill ritual?

[everybodywas]

What do they do, exactly?....I'm going to regret asking, aren't I?

I tried, more than once at that. He told me to go screw myself, which I don't think is physically possible. But it was really early and he didn't even had his first cup of coffee at the time.

[starksolutions]

didn't you take a view of chastity in the ninja monk dimension? I don't know, your delicate innocence may not be able to handle it. should I ask colleen for permission before polluting the purity of your soul?

see, you're too nice about it. he needs friends like mine to make him relax whether he wants to or not.

[everybodywas]

I did but that doesn't mean I'm as naive as you think I am. [Lies, he doesn't know shit, Tony.] I'm not delicate and Colleen would probably laugh at the question.

He could probably use more friends in general but are you sure you want to subject yourself to Ward, though? Our relationship always had been like that, I got used to the snark, kinda like stockholm syndrome.

[starksolutions]

uh huh, sure you aren't.

I think I'll let colleen be the judge. maybe I'll take her out for drinks and ask her for all the juicy details. like a girls' night out. she'd have fun with that, don't you think? she seems cool.

I should sic pepper on ward. if she can't make him loosen up, he's a lost cause.